One Last Chance to Say Goodbye
by dragoon811
Summary: Spoilers for Nuriko. A second POV is up... Who is it? ^_~. please R&R!!
1. Part One

Disclaimer: I don't own FY.  
  
A/N: I have no clue what possessed me to write this, but I did.. .^^.;; Please R&R.  
  
~*~  
  
Looking around to make sure no one else in the encampment was awake, Tasuki left the tent that he and Chichiri shared, starting a slow, steady walk up the mountainside.  
  
It had been yesterday - just yesterday, for Suzaku's sake, that he had last seen him alive. He had been laughing, and then, in that drastic movement, he had sheared off all of that hair.  
  
Beautiful hair, too. He had seen it down a few times, and always the sheer mass and beauty of it startled him, made it easier to see his friend as a female.  
  
But he wasn't a female. He was a male, and the haircut left that obvious.  
  
Damn, but if he had lived Nuriko would have been quite the lady killer.  
  
Tasuki finally reached the mound of snow where his friend lay. He stood there for a minute, quiet, shifting from foot to foot nervously.  
  
"Hey," he said softly, after some time had passed. "It's just me, ya'know. No need to get riled or anythin'. Mind if I sit down?"  
  
He plunked himself down across from the unmarked mound.  
  
"Man, I'm sorry we had ter bury ya here like this...I wish we could take ya back home to Kounan...Hell, I wish ya were still livin'."  
  
He smiled broodily at the snow, then held up the bottle. "Sake? Tamahome told us how ya out-drank him the other night. Somethin' about a 'Nuriko Special'. I'm gonna....I'm gonna drink one every once in a while, and remember ya."  
  
He started to cry. ""Che! I still dunno know why ya did it, Nuriko. I dunno why ya did it alone, either. Why'd ya hafta go and leave me alone... I ain't gonna forgive ya for it, either. When I catch up ter ya, I'm gonna yell at ya."  
  
He took a drink, feeling the tears burning in his eyes. He probably shouldn't be here, or at least have left a note. What if he got drunk, fell asleep, and froze to death? What a lame death.  
  
"Yeah, I'm gonna yell at ya, Nuri-chan...Fer leavin' me. And Miaka. And Hotohori. And fer makin' me cry." Tasuki smirked down at the sake bottle in his hands. "Man, the emperor's gonna be pissed at ya...No, he isn't though, is he? He ain't gonna care. Dammit, did you have to die, Nuriko?"  
  
He glared at the snow, and poured some sake onto it. " Here, have a drink...Man, I couldn't have done it if I were you...Ya always were the strong one, Nuri. And not just yer strength...ya were strong inside..Dammit, Hotohori never gave ya a second glance, and yet ya gave him everything. And Miaka, too. I dun think anyone appreciated you enough until ya were gone...I mean, ya even helped Miaka get the damn Shinzaho. I dunno how ya did it, but them bracelets of yers turned on and worked. I knew ya were there, too..."  
  
A tear found it's way down his face, and he didn't bother to wipe it away. "I guess I dun understand why ya had ter die alone...Ya loved all of us, but we didn't love you, did we? Well..." Tasuki grinned down at his hands. "I know now's a bad time ter be tellin' ya this, wit' ya bein' dead an' all...But I loved ya, Nuri-chan. Ya were a real friend. Mebbe more, I dunno. But I miss ya a lot, and it's like there's this hole in my heart where ya used ter be, and..."  
  
His eyes burned and he started to cry. "'Che...if ya were here ya'd tell me to stop cryin', wouldn't ya? But I ain't gonna stop, Nuri-chan. I'm gonna cry an' ya can't stop me!"  
  
Tasuki bent his head and cried. He cried until he felt a warmth steal around his shoulders.  
  
"I guess you didn't know me so well, then," a voice murmured into his ear. "I would tell you that it's okay to cry, but not to cry for me. I lived my life the way I wanted to, Tasuki-chan. I don't regret anything.." Tasuki looked up, only to see Nuriko's face inches from his. And he was smiling. "And you're not drunk, either."  
  
Nuriko waggled his finger in front of Tasuki's nose, grinning. "So don't go thinking that I'm some sort of dream. I'm here, Tasuki. Just a little dead, but I'm here."  
  
"Nu-Nuriko?!" Tasuki's voice came out as a strangled whisper.  
  
"Yeah, it's me." Nuriko let go of Tasuki's shoulder and sat down next to him. "Did you want something? I mean, you came all this way, just to see little me..."  
  
"Yeah." Tasuki looked crestfallen. "Yer dead, Nuri."  
  
"I know." Nuriko smiled at him. "I'm with my sister, though. She came to get me, so I wasn't afraid, Tasuki. She yelled at me, too, though, for dying."  
  
"She did?"  
  
"Yeah." Nuriko looked down at his feet. "So, what did you want, Tasuki- chan? Just to talk? I can't stay here for very long. If you were asleep I could stay, because I'm only a spirit, Tasuki. I'm not very substantial."  
  
Tasuki bit his lip, one fang showing, and he took a fortifying swig of sake. "I wanted ter tell ya that I loved ya, Nuri. I didn't want ya ter die alone like that." Nuriko was very quiet as Tasuki went on. "Ya were so full of life, Nuri-chan...I dunno why they didn't see it. But then ya died an'...an' it was like my world fell apart, too, ya know? I didn' want ter believe that ya were dead, Nuri...that ya were gone, so easily...Ya seemed so strong, before, an' then ya were just lyin' there like some fragile little thin' that was gonna break if we touched ya... I guess I jus' wanted ter tell ya that I loved ya and ter say goodbye, ya know?"  
  
Nuriko smiled at him. "Tasuki, go to sleep."  
  
"Eh? Why?"  
  
"Because I said so," Nuriko told him, grinning broadly. "Don't make me knock you out."  
  
"'Kay, 'kay...sheesh..." Within moments of settling himself against Nuriko's grave he fell asleep.  
  
"Now, open your eyes," Nuriko's voice said, sounding farther away.  
  
He complied, and almost started. "What the-!"  
  
Nuriko laughed and hugged him. "You're asleep, baka. I can touch you here. You were breaking my heart, and I needed to hold you, and -!!!"  
  
Tasuki clutched him tightly, crying all over again. "Nuriko!!! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry!"  
  
"It's okay." Nuriko recovered from his shock, holding Tasuki gently. "It's okay, Tasuki. I'm here. I'll always be here for you. I love you, too, you know."  
  
Tasuki cried against Nuriko for a long time, listening to his friend draw breath that didn't exist.  
  
*  
  
The next morning Chichiri found him leaning against Nuriko's grave with a bottle of sake, smiling.  
  
Chichiri paused for a moment, worried that Tasuki had managed to freeze himself to death, but then he noticed something odd - Tasuki was glowing faintly from a soft red light.  
  
"Ne, Tasuki-kun...are you alive, no da?" Chichiri asked. Kneeling down and poking Tasuki in the knee.  
  
The bandit stirred slightly, as if pulling himself away from someone else, and vaguely, Chichiri wondered if someone was trying to control his mind.  
  
*  
  
"Tasuki," Nuriko said softly, looking across at his friend. "I have to go now."  
  
"No!" Tasuki jumped up, flushed and angry. "Ya can't go!"  
  
"I have to. You need to wake up, and I need to go home." Nuriko smiled gently. "I'm here, though, always."  
  
"But - " Tasuki searched for words.  
  
"No buts," Nuriko told him firmly. I have to go, and so do you. But if you need me, I'll be there."  
  
Tasuki looked down at his feet. "Jus' one thin', then..."  
  
Nuriko looked at him quizzically. "What?"  
  
"If I die, will ya come and get me? I dun want ta die alone." Tasuki grinned at him rakishly. "I dun inten' ter die, Nuri, but I dun wanna be alone, neither."  
  
Nuriko grinned. "Of course, Tasuki-chan. Now wake up."  
  
"'Kay..." He stood watching as Nuriko seemed to fade out of sight, and he focused on Chichiri instead. "'Chiri?"  
  
"Thank goodness, no da! I was getting worried no da!" Chichiri scolded him. "Where were you no da?"  
  
"Here...I was talkin' wit' Nuri." Tasuki rose steadily to his feet.  
  
Chichiri was quiet. "Tasuki-kun, Nuriko is dead."  
  
"I know that," Tasuki said, picking up the sake bottle. "But he was 'ere, 'Chiri. An' I dun' care if ya dun' believe me, so jus' let it go."  
  
Tasuki started down the mountain, leaving Chichiri standing there looking down at the snow.  
  
Tasuki had been there alone, but...There was another set of small, delicate footprints, and a spot where someone else had been sitting, right next to Tasuki.  
  
And, oddest of all, there was a small strand of shorn-away purple hair by where Tasuki's shoulder had been.  
  
Tasuki had been able to say his goodbyes. 


	2. Part Two

Disclaimer: Once again, I don't own FY. I wish I did, but I don't. Also - this is my meager attempt at this. ^_~. I figured since the Tasuki chapter worked so well and I got a complaint or two about this person looking like a jerk that I would do the same kind of thing,...only from this person's POV. I hope it works out...  
  
~Moeru  
  
One Last Chance to Say Goodbye  
  
~*~  
  
Sighing, eyes closed against the well of pain, and a piece of parchment, crumpled and tear-soaked from both ends of exchange, fell to the lush carpet, lying still until a breeze wafted through the room, sending it skittering a few inches into the leg of a chair, where it came to a stop.  
  
They hadn't needed to tell him who had died. When he had felt that pain rip through him, he had known already exactly who it was. He didn't know how he had known, but he had.  
  
Hotohori clenched his fists, closing his eyes tightly against the wave of pain that swept through him again at the reminder. He wished that Chichiri hadn't sent the letter. All it had done was to confirm to him that Nuriko was dead.  
  
Dead.  
  
The word sounded so hollow if he spoke it aloud. After all, how could Nuriko be dead?  
  
Nuriko was so cheerful, so full of life, so beautiful. A valued friend...  
  
A knot twisted itself in his stomach and a lump filled his throat. Loneliness overwhelmed him. He hadn't noticed until these days how much he had enjoyed Nuriko's company.  
  
The smaller man had always been close-by, ready to comfort him with a smile or light gesture. A kind word, or something as equally stupid as popping his head in to check on him when he thought he wasn;t looking.  
  
Yes, he missed Nuriko, more than he thought it decent to admit.  
  
Hotohori stood in front of his mirror, his hair unbound. But for once, he wasn't studying his reflection. He was staring into the past, at remembered moments of time.  
  
Nuriko, tossing fragments of a broken pavilion as if they were chess pieces, nearly crushing some of his court.  
  
Nuriko, dancing in the hallway with Tamahome after they had been caught eavesdropping on his conversation with Miaka.  
  
Nuriko's face when the Mirror Miaka had told them the truth - the look of utter hurt and betrayal made his heart break to remember.  
  
Nuriko, bashing a Nyan-Nyan through the roof, and throwing a sizeable chunk of railing after a fleeing assassin and then blaming the ensuing crater in the palace wall on the assassin.  
  
Nuriko, perpetually defending him from Tasuki's...uncouth insinuations about himself and Miaka.  
  
Nuriko, blasting through a wall, crushing a sake bottle, and prying a bandit off his leg.  
  
Nuriko, teasing him lightly about jumping over the wall of the bandit stronghold in pursuit of Miaka.  
  
Nuriko, smiling and laughing as he greeted Miaka upon her return.  
  
Nuriko...Nuriko...  
  
"NURIKO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
The cry ripped from him throat as he crumpled to the floor of his room, holding himself. He hadn't realized until just now how much Nuriko had meant to him. How much he had missed the laughter and smiles, even the damage to the palace.  
  
One sob, then another, tore through him and he let them. He had already ordered his guards away, so there was no need to hide. No need to pretend.  
  
He leaned into himself, screaming and crying out the pain, emptying himself of it.  
  
He couldn't stand it. He didn't know why he was having this reaction, this feeling of engulfing loneliness. Why the grief was devastating to him. He didn't understand it, but it was like he had just died too.  
  
His tears fell freely, staining silk and leaving small dark spots on the carpet. He didn't care, his sobs bitter in his rooms, echoing emptily.  
  
Pretty things and being emperor seemed so hollow. He felt hollow, like there was nothing left.  
  
Finally, his sobs quieted and he leaned against his bed, gasping for air. His heart ached, knowing that now was the time that Nuriko would usually wander by, whistling a quick tune to mask his slow footsteps.  
  
He closed his eyes as the image of Nuriko smiling at him when he had caught him at this once.  
  
"Oh, Heika..Did I disturb you? I was just wandering by..."  
  
Hotohori had known better. It was obvious in the quick flush of Nuriko's cheeks, the sudden downcast of his eyes.  
  
"Sorry to disturb you, Heika...but..."  
  
Nuriko had often poked his head into a particularly boring meeting to ask him so silly question. Obviously on purpose, and appreciated very much by Hotohori.  
  
He lifted his eyes, pain and sadness etched on his face. He had never told Nuriko that. In fact, he had never told him how much he had meant to him.  
  
He couldn't stand this - all of this time he had thought that the Priestess of Suzaku would be the one to take away his loneliness...  
  
But the key to that had been available so much sooner...And he had done all but publicly scorned him.  
  
But Nuriko had still loved him.  
  
Hotohori wandered aimlessly out into the hallway, musing over this development in his thoughts. His steps were slow and measured, but he had no conscious idea of where he was headed until he was outside the door of Nuriko's room and his fingertips were brushing the handle.  
  
Startled, he almost drew back, but instead opened the door. He had never been in here. It wasn't girlish in design or décor, and nor was it manly. It in itself was Nuriko, carefully neutral, and tidy.  
  
Hotohori closed his eyes, trying to imagine Nuriko at the mirror, on the chair, and succeeding so well that he sank to his knees in from of the mattress and began to cry again.  
  
*  
  
No one questioned the emperor when he emerged from a room not his own the following morning, looking quieter and more sad than normal.  
  
*  
  
"You can't die! What about your son?!" Miaka shouted into the book, her words echoing down onto Hotohori.  
  
"I do want to see my son," he whispered, looking at the picture of all of them that Miaka had had taken before the others had left for Hokkan. His fingers lazily brushed the dirt away from Nuriko's face.  
  
Sighing softly, he closed his eyes and let the darkness take him.  
  
As he slid away from his senses, he became aware of a warmth that was new but not unfamiliar. It embraced him.  
  
"It's alright, I've got you...no need to be afraid, Heika..." Nuriko held his gently, guiding him to wherever they needed to go.  
  
Unable to voice his feelings, Hotohori clung to the ethereal arms surrounding him.  
  
"Nuriko..." He whispered softly, closing his eyes against tears, pain choking him.  
  
A hand brushed away a loose strand of hair.  
  
"Hush. It's going to be alright. I've got you...We're all waiting for you...it's going to be okay..."  
  
Sighing, Hotohori relaxed into death.  
  
~*~  
  
End.  
  
A/N: well, was that any good? Is there anyone else I should do one for, eh? ^_~.  
  
Ja ne!! ^__^. 


End file.
